Something to ponder---

在这一刻我感觉到内心突然涌出的羞愧。曾经的我肤浅地为自己争辩, 认为生命中拥有比上课考试之外更多值得体验的东西，如今看穿了，那不外是偶尔放纵, 逃避责任而为自己编写的堂皇借口。 因为，用心学习始终是学生的本分。

I came across these few sentences at a blog, and feel that I somehow think about the same as the blogger, viewing that "生命中拥有比上课考试之外更多值得体验的东西". Many a time, I tell myself that there are more important things other than studies and exams. Hence, I let myself slack off a lot. Is this sort of an excuse to escape from homework, assignments, and exams? I've no idea. I just really feel that exams aren't the most important things. I still have my family, my relatives, my friends...whom I need to spend time to treasure and cherish. And still, there is the meaning of life, the purpose of life which I've been seeking for years!! So, comparatively, exams to me, aren't my priorities. But, is what I said before the excuse to make me feel better for not doing well in my studies? Seriously, I don't know. But what I know is that I am so sick of sitting for exams. Studying itself is ok, but when it comes to tests or exams, I just feel an unease deep inside me, maybe I'm too vulnerable to know that actually I don't really understand a material and won't do well...?
I've tried convincing myself that exams are not everything. Yet, I, myself, am still entrapped in exams. And I continue to exert pressure on my little brother to do well in his studies, to excel in his exams and so forth. What am I actually thinking? I'm confused...